Options

My options are confusing me:

I know which one is right, which wrong.
I know which brings them peace, which war.
I know which brings me joy, which pain.
But neither seems to keep me sane.

The right brings joy, but also war.
The wrong brings pain, but also peace.

The right for me is wrong for them.
The wrong for me is right for them.
I’ve love for me, I’ve love for them.
But I’m still me, and they’re still them.

No matter how I squint my eyes
I cannot see me one of them.
Because I see a them of them.
Not him and her and ze and zir,
But them and them and them and them.

And then, I wonder how I know
The war, the peace, the joy, the pain.
And even if I know these, how
I know the right, the wrong, the sane.

I toss a coin and close my eyes,
But hear no cheer for either choice.
I roll the coin into a bowl,
And beg for mercy for my soul.

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