Spare Me

If I get another ping from you
Where all you do is crib and cry,
I’ll block your number, permanent,
So don’t you even think to try.

You think I’m your agony aunt?
Just sitting here to hear your woes?
I don’t care if your boss is bad.
I don’t care if your food is gross.

It happens every time you have
Two options, which are both so bad,
Or both so good, you cannot choose
And run to me like I’m your Dad.

Just take your own decisions, please.
I’m slammed with many on my plate,
Against an old adversary
Whose options come with loaded fate.

It cocks a gun at me and asks
“Which option do you like today?”
It matters not which one I pick.
It pulls the trigger anyway.

It’s not that your problem is small.
I know it’s big inside your head.
I’m saying it’s your own to fix.
So, let me deal with mine instead.